Restfully

Grief research

Grief Personas are Restfully’s way of describing how differently people grieve. They’re meant to connect people with support that fits, not to diagnose anyone.

Read the white paperHow to cite this research

The finding we hear most

Most people want others to understand they’re hurting, even when it doesn’t show.

78%most want others to understand they’re hurting, even when it doesn’t show.

  • “I can seem fine but still be hurting.”40%

  • “I’m grieving, even if I don’t show it the way others expect.”38%

  • “I can be emotional and still be okay.”11%

Source: The Grief Personas, Restfully, 2026. 2,112 respondents.

Almost half of people who grieve are Quiet Anchors

Grief tends to fall into four styles. The private Quiet Anchor is the most common.

2,112people asked

  • The Quiet Anchor46%

  • The Open Heart24%

  • The Steady Hand21%

  • The Seeker9%

Fewer than 1 in 4 are helped most by talking

Most support starts with a conversation, but most people say other things help them feel like themselves again.

  • Time and quiet space to move through things34%

  • Small accomplishments and structure28%

  • Meaning through reflection, art or faith15%

Same loss, different needs

Each persona tends to find different things hard, and different things helpful.

  • 46%

    The Quiet Anchor

    Private and contained

    Being pushed to talk before they’re ready overwhelms them most.

    • 66%feel steadier with space and no pressure to explain
    • 72%spend time alone with their thoughts first
    • 52%want others to know they’re grieving, even if it doesn’t show

    What helps

    Time without deadlines, things to read alone, and check-ins that don’t need a reply.

    More about The Quiet Anchor

  • 24%

    The Open Heart

    Expressive and connected

    Silence and feeling misunderstood hurt most.

    • 52%say the hardest part is feeling alone or misunderstood
    • 77%cope first by crying or talking it through
    • 72%feel steadier sharing honestly with people who care

    What helps

    People who listen more than once, groups, and friends who say the name of the person who died.

    More about The Open Heart

  • 21%

    The Steady Hand

    Grounded in action

    Seeming capable can hide how much they’re hurting.

    • 59%say “I can seem fine but still be hurting”
    • 54%say “If I stop moving, it might all fall apart”
    • 64%feel like themselves again by finishing small things

    What helps

    Checklists, clear next steps, a task to do, and someone who notices the hurt behind the to-do list.

    More about The Steady Hand

  • 9%

    The Seeker

    Reflective and questioning

    They want meaning and direction, not a return to normal.

    • 74%say moving forward means finding a new sense of meaning or direction
    • 60%say “I need to understand what this means”
    • 53%find their way back through reflection, art or faith

    What helps

    Writing prompts, books and big questions, faith or philosophy, and room to ask why.

    More about The Seeker

One-size-fits-all support will miss the mark for the majority of people.

Sarah Baldwin, CEOAbout Restfully →

How this research was done

Sample

2,112 people took the quiz. 87% of them (1,837 people) said they are grieving now.

Recruitment

People found the quiz through the Restfully website, social media and our newsletter. Taking part was voluntary and anonymous unless someone chose to leave an email. No one was paid.

Limits

The sample is self-selected, so it isn’t representative of everyone who grieves. 15% of results were ties; leaving those out, Quiet Anchors are 45% and the order of the personas doesn’t change. The personas are a support framework, not a clinical assessment.

How to cite this research

Restfully. (2026). The Grief Personas: How People Grieve, Findings from 2,112 Respondents.

Read the full research ↗

Find your Grief Persona

Eight questions, about three minutes. At the end, you’ll see the persona that sounds most like you.

Do you support people through grief at work?

Learn to recognize each persona and adapt how you help.

Grief Persona Certification